Barnaby Asks Swinging Voters To At Least Let Him Poll Them

Australia’s deputy Prime Minister (for now) and aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has pleaded with swinging voters to give him a chance and let him poll them.

”I know a lot of Australians don’t like me, but today I’m asking for them, well some of them to just give me a chance,” said the Member for New England. ”All I want to do is spend election day polling swingers and well who knows where it’ll lead.”

”You never know, if it’s a tight election I might get to have Scotty over a barrel. Surely then he’d lose the bonk ban.”

When asked what his gut was telling him about the upcoming election, the Member for New England said: ”My gut is telling me no more curries from Scott, err, ScoMo.”

”Jokes aside, the Australian people have to make a decision that will drastically effect the future.”

”For instance, if we lose Government I’m over on the Opposition benches and that means a big pay cut.”

”How am I going to look after my families, I’ve got wives to look after.”

”It’s harder to rort when you’re not in Government.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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