Australia’s deputy Prime Minister (for now) and aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has pleaded with swinging voters to give him a chance and let him poll them.
”I know a lot of Australians don’t like me, but today I’m asking for them, well some of them to just give me a chance,” said the Member for New England. ”All I want to do is spend election day polling swingers and well who knows where it’ll lead.”
”You never know, if it’s a tight election I might get to have Scotty over a barrel. Surely then he’d lose the bonk ban.”
When asked what his gut was telling him about the upcoming election, the Member for New England said: ”My gut is telling me no more curries from Scott, err, ScoMo.”
”Jokes aside, the Australian people have to make a decision that will drastically effect the future.”
”For instance, if we lose Government I’m over on the Opposition benches and that means a big pay cut.”
”How am I going to look after my families, I’ve got wives to look after.”
”It’s harder to rort when you’re not in Government.”
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