Robert Condemns Royal Commission For Not Letting Him Speak In Tongues

Scott Morrison’s former best friend Stuart Robert has condemned the Royal Commission into the Robodebt program that he was a part of for not letting him give his testimony in tongues.

”It was most upsetting that the Commissioner wouldn’t let me speak in tongues,” said the man known as Brother Stuey. ”Scott Morrison used to let me speak in tongues.”

”In fact he often said the highlight of his day was when I tongued him.”

When asked if he had any regrets over the Robodebt scheme, Brother Stuey said: ”As a man of God the only person I answer to is the Lord himself.”

”Hopefully, this belief will hold me in good stead should the report come back not in my favor.”

”I really don’t want to have to use my ability to talk tongues in prison.”

”That might cause a little confusion, like this one time, in the prayer room.”

Mark Williamson


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