The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told his colleagues that he is ready to fight the next election and promises his leader, Peter Dutton, that he will handle the Nation’s swinging voters.

”When you look up Australia’s best retail politician, there’s a picture of me looking back at you,” said the member for New England. ”Ignore all those articles about the decline of retail and instead focus on me.”

”Now, let’s throw some pork in the barrel and let me loose on the swingers.”

When asked how the Opposition planned to win the next election, given that they have no current costed polices to spruik, the member for New England said: ”We don’t need policies, we just need to point out how bad Albo’s doing.”

”And quite frankly we can stand back on that and let the Greens do all the shouting.”

”Now, enough talk, time for some action. You couldn’t give us a lift could you? This lady slipped in to my DM’s ands was keen for some polling.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia, Barnaby Joyce, Coalition, Election, Insiders, Labor, New England, Nuclear, Peter Dutton, QandA, satire, Swinging Voters, The Greens