A slow news week has lead to the team behind Australia’s largest satirical news network News Corp to prod the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton to consider challenging his colleague Scott ‘ScoMo’ Morrison for the leadership.
“Sometimes when there’s not much happening you’ve gotta try and make things happen,” said a News Corp Insider. “I mean last year we tried stirring things up with a Barnaby Joyce leadership challenge.”
“But that didn’t sell as many stories as the Barnaby Joyce bonking scandal.”
When asked why they felt Peter Dutton could be persuaded to mount a challenge for the leadership the Spokesperson replied: “Haven’t you ever seen Harry Potter, Voldemort never gives up.”
“Also Peter has surrounded himself with the world’s worst numbers man so no doubt Matthias will help our cause greatly.”
The Minister for the Dark Arts could not be reached for comment as he was busily sacrificing baby animals to the God of leadership spills.