One Nation’s leading mind Malcolm Roberts, has told reporters that he does not believe in the drought and in an effort to prove it he will endeavor to swim the entire length of the Murray Darling river, all 1,472 kilometers of it.
“Everyone keeps banging on about the drought and a lack of water yet they do not present any empirical evidence,” said Senator Roberts. “Why just the other day I was down at Bondi beach and all I saw was water. It was all the way to the horizon.”
“If we are in drought why was there water a plenty at this beach?”
When asked whether he knew that the water at Bondi Beach was sea water and unsuitable for farming Mr Roberts said: “Says who? I mean we refer to farmers as salt of the earth then why not give them sea water.”
“It’s time this country learn’t to embrace salt, whether it be in our water or on the land.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to buy some floaties for my swim.”
Mark Williamson
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The (un)Australian 
It is pleasing to see the Goon region getting recognition outside South Australia. It’s an arid, hot, flat and dusty plain irrigated by effluent from them nearby sewerage plant. The town of Dunt (made famous by Chris Lilley) lies at its heart.
In the 1860s Henry Kingsley wrote that the area was a “hideous anomaly, a blot on the face of Nature, the sort of place one gets into in bad dreams”.[6]
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