Since Tourism Australia had to pull its ad claiming this place is heaps better than the UK, seeing as “everything’s on fire” is something the UK has so far only managed metaphorically, our tourism chiefs have been scratching their heads on how to overcome the reluctance of foreigners to risk burning to death on their annual leave.

Inspiration hit, quite literally, when huge chunks of hail smashed through Tourism Australia’s Canberra office while its Board kicked around ideas to avert billions of dollars of losses.

CEO Bob Pleasecome said: “We were sitting in my office and just had nothing, next thing you know my expensive new shoes were water logged and it hit me: Australia is suffering fire, drought, extreme heat, dust storms, hail storms and flood all at the same time. We can offer a window into the world’s collective future, all within the same day!

“The future has always excited people. Remember when you were a kid and you’d dream of flying cars, holidays to the moon and the ability to breath? You couldn’t wait to see the future and now you don’t have to! Come to Australia and…”, the CEO pausing for dramatic effect, “…Experience the future now!”

Grinning with pleasure at their cleverness, the head of Tourism Australia added that plans were underway to turn half of Australia into a giant Mad Max theme park and the other half into one dedicated to the less popular film Waterworld. “We’ll put that part in South Australia,” he added. “No tourists want to go there anyway.”

Carlo Sands

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