Joyce Tells The PM: End The Bonk Ban Or He’ll Campaign In Wentworth

Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce today sent a warning to the Prime Minister that if the contentious bonk ban is not ended then he will stop campaigning in the country and head to the electorate of Wentworth.

”The Government wants me out in the bush pushing the can, which I don’t mind doing,” said the Deputy Prime Minister. ”However, it’s a long way to go to the election and I do like chatting to the city folk as well.”

”So, Scott, err, ScoMo, let’s talk about this bonk ban, otherwise I might have to take the Pajero into town.”

When asked why he felt that the bonk ban was such a significant issue, when it only applied to members of Cabinet, the Deputy PM said: ”How is a politician supposed to do his job and press the flesh so to speak when he’s restrained from who’s flesh he can press?”

”The people of Australia understand I’m just a man, a man with needs. And at the moment those needs aren’t being met.”

”Now end the bonk ban or I’m off to Bondi.”

Mark Williamson


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