Niche news network Sky News Australia is hoping tonight’s leaders debate between their mate ScoMo and the dastardly Anthony Albanese will lead to the low rating station doubling their audiences from 6 to 12 viewers.
”What a coup for the network to land the leader’s debate,” said a Sky News Spokesperson. ”So glad to see that the debate between that inner city hipster Albo and our glorious leader ScoMo isn’t being covered by the biased their ABC.”
”It’s on the right network.”
When asked why the debate was given to the ridiculously low rating news network, the Sky Spokesperson said: ”We are the highest rating news service beginning with the letter S in the country.”
”When people want news or some background noise, they turn to us.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to head out with my universal remote and see how many televisions in bars, food courts and hospitals I can switch to Sky.”
”If I do well I might drag in another 3 or dare I say 4 viewers.”
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LIKE RATS UP A DRAINPIPE
You can hear the halfwits howling
And imagine Rupert scowling
While the Tele takes a towelling
For its mangling of the truth.
They insist the world is flatter
Than a pancake on a platter
As they scream of sex and splatter
Passing lies off for the truth
Send the facts out on vacation
While they titillate the nation
With their shit and their sensation
Gross perverting of the truth.
There’s the sprays of Peta Credlin
Stinking garbage that she’s peddlin’
All the facts with which she’s meddlin’
Propaganda never truth
And now here’s devine Miranda
Full of spleen and spite and slander
Even God can’t understand her
Turns her blind eyes to the truth.
Every headline’s a contortion
Of the facts a sheer distortion
Born of ghoulish misproportion
And they never ever ever
Tell the truth.
So once again all the time will be given to Morrinson and Albo will be cut shory .