Peter Dutton’s hand picked shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has seemingly been sidetracked this election campaign. With the member for New England heard to be asking those around him, whose leg he has to hump in order to get out on to the hustings.

”You have Australia’s best retail politician in the land being put out to pasture, unbelievable,” whined the member for New England. ”At least put me out to stud, God, here I am alone trapped at home with the trouble and strife.”

”I should be out chasing swingers, you know, the swinging voters. Let me press the flesh.”

When asked why he felt he was being left out of this year’s campaign, the shadow minister for home affairs said: ”Apparently I don’t appeal to inner city women, I mean seriously, says who.”

”Put me in a room with 100 women and I guarantee I’m walking out with a root.”

”Anyway, enough chit chat, I’m off to work my own electorate, must be a few good sorts around.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Adultery, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Barnaby Joyce, Beetrooter, Coalition, David Littleproud, debate, Election, Female Voters, Insiders, Liberal party, Nationals, New England, Peter Dutton, QandA, Ray Hadley, satire, Sky News Australia, Teals, Women