Peter Dutton’s hand picked shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has begged his leader to get him off the bench and put him out in to the campaign so he can press some flesh.

”They’re trailing in the polls and I’m left here sitting on the bench,” said the member for New England. ”I mean come on, put me on the field coach, let me give the cheerleaders something to cheer.”

”It’s not to late to let little Barnaby loose.”

When asked why he has been sidelined this election, the member for New England said: ”Apparently I don’t appeal to the inner-city women, can you believe it?”

”Let me loose on these bookish babes, with my silver tongue I’ll have ticking all the right boxes come election day.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to do some private polling, ladies form a line.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: abc730, auspol, Australia, Barnaby Joyce, David Littleproud, Election, Hidden, Inner-City, Insiders, John Howard, Labor, Liberals, Nationals, Peter Dutton, QandA, satire, Scott Morrison, Sleeze