NSW’s deputy Premier John Barilaro has threatened to piss all over the floor of NSW Parliament unless the Premier, who he is allegedly a part of a coalition Government still in coalition government with, allows him and his Nationals colleagues to kill a koala (or 20).
”I don’t think it’s too much to ask – to be allowed to strangle a koala or five after a hard day out on the farm,” said the Deputy Premier. ”The Inner City latte-sipping elites wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have to work hard for a living. We need our stress relief!”
”So, I say to the Premier – give me what I want, or I will piss all over the floor.”
When asked why he and his colleagues wished to kill koalas, the Deputy Premier said: ”Gotta kill something!”
”But seriously, why shouldn’t I be allowed to kill what’s on my land?”
”Koalas, snakes, weeds, vegans … if they step on my land, I should be allowed to shoot them.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s morning tea time and I need to let Gladys know that I want all the Tim Tams, otherwise I’ll blow up the Government.”
Premier Berejiklian could not be reached for comment as she was busy doing her actual job of dealing with a pandemic.
We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz
The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here: