Barilaro Demands That Gladys Let Him Kill A Koala Or He’ll Piss On The Floor Of Parliament

NSW’s deputy Premier John Barilaro has threatened to piss all over the floor of NSW Parliament unless the Premier, who he is allegedly a part of a coalition Government still in coalition government with, allows him and his Nationals colleagues to kill a koala (or 20).

”I don’t think it’s too much to ask – to be allowed to strangle a koala or five after a hard day out on the farm,” said the Deputy Premier. ”The Inner City latte-sipping elites wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have to work hard for a living. We need our stress relief!”

”So, I say to the Premier – give me what I want, or I will piss all over the floor.”

When asked why he and his colleagues wished to kill koalas, the Deputy Premier said: ”Gotta kill something!”

”But seriously, why shouldn’t I be allowed to kill what’s on my land?”

”Koalas, snakes, weeds, vegans … if they step on my land, I should be allowed to shoot them.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s morning tea time and I need to let Gladys know that I want all the Tim Tams, otherwise I’ll blow up the Government.”

Premier Berejiklian could not be reached for comment as she was busy doing her actual job of dealing with a pandemic.

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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