Scotty From Marketing Hastily Flicks Through The Bunnings Catalogue Looking For A Distraction

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has taken some time out of his day to vigorously flick through the latest Bunnings catalogue in the hopes of being able to find a distraction. Preferably one big enough to occupy the media for more than a weekend.

”It’s been a very stressful couple of weeks for the PM, what with Covid, the bonk ban, Trump, the Recession and his lifetime ban from Engadine Maccas,” said a Spokesperson for the PM. ”So, in times of crisis where better to turn to than a Bunnings catalogue.”

”With Christmas coming around soon the PM putting up Christmas lights at Kirribilli will play very well in the suburbs.”

When asked why the PM was seemingly looking for a distraction rather than attacking problems head on, the Spokesperson said: ”I reject the premise of your question, well at least my boss does.”

”Look, hard-working tradies and their wives don’t care about the Canberra bubble.”

“They care about Bunnings, they care about cubby houses and chook runs. You inner city elites really need to get out more from your own bubble and talk to some common people.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to pick up the boss at Engadine Maccas, apparently he’s been working on a little distraction there.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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