Joyce Tells PM To End The Stupid Bonk Ban For The Sake Of Canberra’s Desks

Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has angrily called on the PM to end the parliamentary bonk ban as the pent up frustration around it is causing staffers to do silly stuff such as masturbate on female colleagues desks.

”Scott I am talking to you now man to man, end this bloody bonk ban,” said the Member for New England. ”The Staffers are getting desperate and don’t get me started on how the Ministers are going.”

”It’s been a long hard slog for a lot of us.”

When asked whether he had perhaps misread the room on lobbying at this point in time to over turn the bonk ban, the Member for New England said: ”If there’s one thing that I know it’s what the Ladies of this country want.”

”They want to go to work and if sparks fly and they happen to hit it off with their boss they want to see where things can go.”

”At the moment they can’t go anywhere thanks to ScoMo and his bloody bonk ban.”

”Maybe I should have a chat to Jen about it and she can talk some sense into him.”

Mark Williamson


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