Dutton Reminds Journo’s That He’s Tortured Kids As Well

Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has issued a press release to remind the Nation that he too as Minister for Home Affairs was involved in torturing kids in off shore detention centres.

”The Dark Lord is rather miffed that there’s all this talk of the kids on Christmas island being tortured and he’s getting none of the credit,” said a Government Insider. ”Sure, Morrison is the one that put them there but the Dark Lord used to visit the island when he was in charge and poke them with a stick.”

When asked why a Minister would want to be associated with locking up Children, the Government Insider said: ”To show that unlike the Labor party the Coalition is strong on protecting our borders from young children.”

”Can you imagine an Australia over run with children, it would be awful. All that laughter and happiness, it would kill Lord Dutton.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to sharpen the Dark Lord’s stick so he can go and pay the little girl in hospital a visit.”

Mark Williamson


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