ScoMo Calls Abbott To Ask Him For George Pell’s Number

Prime Minister for Sydney Scott Morrison has made a call to India to ask former PM Tony Abbott if he can slip him George Pell’s number.

”The PM is always on the look out for religious figures who he feels have touched others, to make a difference in his life,” said a spokesperson for the PM. ”Cardinal Pell is someone who helped Tony on his journey, and ScoMo is hoping that George can have the same impact on him.”

”Besides, Scotty is on the lookout for a new mentor, as his current one may be unavailable for 3 to 5 years.”

When asked why the PM would be looking to get in touch with Pell, given his troubles with the law, the spokesperson said: ”George was cleared by the High Court,”

”I mean, sure, if you read the Royal Commission into Institutional Child Abuse it’s not all positive about George, but in the eyes of the law he’s a free man!”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and do some research on Prime Ministerial pardons.”

Mark Williamson


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