The UnOz’s Person of the Year award is one of the most anticipated events of the year, with defamation lawyers everywhere especially keen to see the list.
The year 2021 had us all seemingly looking back nostalgically at the heady days of 2020. Before we start wondering what fresh hell 2022 has in store for us, let’s look back and see who or what stuck their head up this year.
Christian Porter’s Blind Trust
If anyone could figure out how to sneak in a massive million dollar donation to their defamation war chest anonymously through the back door, it would be the former Attorney General Christian Porter.
There is no word yet on who contributed the cash to the alleged former Minister’s bank account however, ISIS, Al Qaeda, Dr Evil and Kaos have all been reached for comment and have refused to confirm of deny their involvement in the scheme.
Yeah right, what respectable publication would award this dude an honour like Person of the Year? What next – Hitler or Stalin getting the award?
Alan Jones’ Tech Person
After being ‘let go’ by niche news network Sky News Australia for low ratings, lil’ Alan Jones didn’t fade off into obscurity. Instead, he headed to the internet to stream off into obscurity.
The launch of the Alan Jones show live on the internet was watched by hundreds of people, and would have been listened to by hundreds more if the audio had of worked.
Alan Jones blamed high demand for the shows problems, however, like his views on climate change and Covid, the statistics and facts don’t back up his statement.
Still a very touchy subject, according to the Queen.
Do we think the French President is worthy of this nomination? We don’t think – we know!
As if being French President wasn’t a hard enough, job Monsieur Macron also took it upon himself to relieve Australia’s Oppostion leader Anthony Albanese for a few weeks this year so Albo could focus on his DJing. Bravo Monsieur.
Poor Darryl, who does he have to sleep with to be asked to run for a safe Federal seat like Warringah?
They say behind every great man there is a great woman – who is there to take the fall. This nomination should really be for Gladys Berejiklian, however we’ll wait to see what ICAC has to say.
ScoMo’s Creepy Mate George Christensen
The member for Manilla was for a second year in a row locked out of his spiritual home, the Philippines, and forced to stick around Canberra and his electorate of Dawson and do his job.
Well, he was supposed to his job. Instead, he focused for most of the year on throwing his weight behind the anti-vaccine movement and threatening to cross the floor at the drop of a hat.
His boss Barnaby Joyce warned the PM to not poke the bear. Let’s hope in retirement that the Member for Dawson takes his boss’s advice and doesn’t poke anything himself.
With test cricket on hiatus for much of 2021, former Australian test cricket captain Tim Paine appeared to have no chance of a nomination this year. However, he stormed back into contention with a captain’s knock of epic proportions.
With the arts industry being hit for 6 over the last two years, help came from an unlikely quarter – the Aussie test captain. Tim Paine took matters into his own hand and got one away to the boundary. He single handedly revitalised the photographic art form by cheekily tweaking the staple ‘bowl of fruit’ into the ‘meat and two veg’.
*If you disagree with our list of nominees, then leave a comment below with your nomination.
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