Dutton Demands Irish Border Be Shut To Keep Out Potato Blight

Opposition Leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese close the Irish border before the dreaded potato blight hits the country.

”This government needs to get off their backsides and take some action,” said the Dark Lord. ”Lives are at stake if this dreaded potato blight hits our shores.”

”Won’t somebody think of my family?”

When asked why, given when he was in government there were constant delays, should the Albanese Government jump to the Opposition’s demands, the Dark Lord said: ”Albanese needs to learn when I and Rupert say “Jump”, then he needs to say “How high?” ‘

”I am a very important person, and definitely not a monster. Don’t believe me? Just ask my wife!”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to strangle a few puppies before Question Time. It helps get me in the mood.”

Mark Williamson


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