Dutton Asks Shooter To Draw Up A Spreadsheet Of Labor Seats To Place A Nuclear Reactor

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has tasked the Coalition’s most accomplished spread sheeter, Shooter McKenzie, to draft one up listing the best Labor held seats that they can place a nuclear reactor in should they win the next election.

”I will waste no time once elected to put my stamp on the Nation,” said the Dark Lord. ”So, to all those thinking of voting Labor be warned, you will have a nuclear reactor in your back yard.”

”Don’t like it, then start lobbying your neighbours to vote for me.”

When asked why he was so solidly behind nuclear power when study after study shows it is not viable in Australia, the Dark Lord said: ”Study? Why on earth would I go by what study’s have to say when I can trust my instincts.”

”Nuclear power is the way of the future, don’t believe me listen to Sky News after dark, host after host is spruiking their benefits.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Marrickville to measure up Albo’s street to see if it’ll fit one or two nuclear reactors.”

Mark Williamson


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