The (un)Australian

Recent Posts - page 451

• Mr Methane Appointed Australian Wind Farm Commissioner

  By theunozblog on 19/06/2015

  

  British born “professional farter” Mr Methane has today been announced by the Abbott government as Australia’s first wind farm commissioner, narrowly tipping out radio broadcaster and hotly tipped favourite Alan Jones for the coveted position. A spokesperson for the government… Read More ›

• Bill Shorten Asks To Be Knifed As Leader Sooner Rather Than Later

  By theunozblog on 19/06/2015

  

  Federal Opposition leader and soon-to-be star of the ABC documentary The Killing Season Part 2, Bill Shorten has called on his ALP colleagues to rally together and knife him sooner rather than later. Mr Shorten spoke to The (un)Australian about his request to be knifed, saying:… Read More ›

• Vegan Knows Restaurant That Sells ‘The Best Corn’

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 19/06/2015

  

  Gerard Styles, a 22 year old barista from trendy East-Riverton, NSW, has allayed concerns from his non-vegan friends about where they should go for dinner by assuring his companions that he knows a restaurant that sells “the best corn”. Mr… Read More ›

• Every Small Shop In Australia Now A Thai Massage Place.

  By theunaustralianblog on 18/06/2015

  

  With the closure of Revesby takeaway chicken shop Clucky Country, the Australian Chamber of Commerce has confirmed that every small shop in the country is now devoted to supplying Thai massages. “I though that there might be enough of a… Read More ›

• FIRB Cracks Down On Leprechauns After Double Rainbow Hits Sydney

  By Tim Govers on 18/06/2015

  

  The Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB) is investigating claims Irish nationals have sent property prices so high overnight that Chinese investors are being forced out of the market. Earlier this year the FIRB ordered a Chinese national to sell a… Read More ›

• Betting On ‘Hypocrite Of The Year’ Award Suspended After People Smuggling Scandal

  By Carlo Sands on 18/06/2015

  

  Betting on this year’s prestigious World’s Biggest Hypocrite Award, known popularly as “the Bono”, has been suspended after a huge plunge on the entire Abbott government was followed by an even larger plunge on the Labor Opposition. Bet369.com spokesperson Mick Dodgey said bookmakers… Read More ›

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