Confused Millennials Gather Around Post Box Not Sure How To Post SSM Survey

Hundreds of thousands of baffled young people are currently standing around little red post boxes all over Australia not sure how to post the letter containing their SSM survey.

“There’s a slot on the front of it that must be some kind of ventilation system but nothing for me to press to send my form,” said beard trimmer mechanic Kelvin Prendergast.

“I think it’s cool that the government has designed a 3D version of the message icon but I can’t seem to find the interface anywhere on this thing,” said emoji archivist Hailey Fitzgibbon, proudly trying to smash her envelope sideways into the box.

“I sent my form off hours ago and haven’t got a single like yet or one solitary pink heart even,” said avocado grader Alex Willoughby, staring plaintively at the slot in the post box.

“I’m guessing this works on face recognition technology like the new i-phone but I’ve been smashing my head into it for hours and it still won’t open,” said Ellen Ainsworth, unemployed.

“I went to visit my grandpa to ask his advice on how to mail a letter but as usual he just ran me off his property with his shotgun and accused me of wanting to murder him so I could get his house,” said Christopher Maclean, unemployed.

“I think it might be some kind of tap and go system, but to be sure I’ve walked all over the neighbourhood and tapped my survey on several of these boxes,” said apprentice selfie stick whittler Angela Agostino.

As of Thursday night the ABS reports receiving more than five million survey forms from voters aged over 35 and six from those born after 1990.

Peter Green

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1 reply

  1. Recently at work I had to explain to a 19 year old admin assistant how to address an envelope and where to put the stamp, so it’s a good thing they are on the survey/guesstimate/whatever or they wouldn’t get as far as the post box.

    Liked by 1 person

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