Australia’s coke dealers have called on which ever party wins Saturday’s election to put together a bail out package for the struggling industry following the implementation of the election advertising blackout.

“Mate last week everything was gravy, old mate Palmer was spending millions on advertising and thanks to the wonders of trickle down economics that money was coming straight to us,” said an Industry Spokesperson. “Then all of a sudden to the gravy train stops. All our money is now going offshore to Facebook and Instagram.”

“Why should this election benefit overseas coke dealers instead of us hard working local coke dealers.”

When asked what he hoped the major parties would do for the struggling cocaine industry the Spokesperson replied: “Well for starters let’s hope Clive Palmer gets into parliament. That would be good for us and maybe less One Nation candidates as it’s clear they are on something but it ain’t cocaine.”

“My guess after listening to Malcolm Roberts it might be a dodgy batch of MDMA, mushrooms or maybe bath salts.”

“Oh and more fashion weeks and race meets, they are great for business.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

Tags: abc730, advertising, auspol, Australia, ausvotes, Bill Shorten, Clive Palmer, Cocaine, Election, Election Advertising, Insiders, Malcolm Roberts, One Nation, QandA, Scomo, Scott Morrison