Christensen Demands That The PM Get The Jets To Manila And Bring The Capital’s Ping Pong Team Back To Him

The Government’s member for Manila George Christensen has demanded that Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing deploy the air force to the Philippines and bring the Manilla girls ping pong team to Mackay.

”Scotty made a promise to all Australians that he would get everybody home by Christmas,” said the member for Manila. ”Now, admittedly the Manila girls ping pong team is not Australian but most of their patrons are.”

“The trick shots that these girls can do and all for a dollar are absolutely amazing.”

When asked why the Government should prioritise bringing in a foreign ‘sports’ team over it’s citizens, the member for Manila said: ”If I can’t get to the Philippines then they should come to me.”

”If Matthias Cormann can get a private jet to swan around Europe why shouldn’t I get a blasted ping pong team to Mackay. Scotty wants to be careful as if I don’t get my way I’ll get angry.”

”He wouldn’t like it when I’m angry, Malcom didn’t.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to head out to pick up some cheer leader costumes.”

Mark Williamson

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