ScoMo’s 12 Step Plan To Save Australia

G’day Australia it’s old mate ScoMo here, writing to you from lockdown in Kirribilli.

After a busy weekend of taking photos and cooking curries with Jen and the Girls I had a bit of time to get around to knocking up a plan to help get Australia through the Covid crisis.

Please see below my 12 step plan. Any similarities to Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 step plan is simply coincidental.

Step One: First we need to admit that we are powerless to this crisis. Not Me personally, as I’m ScoMo, I’m pretty powerful ask anyone who has seen me knock up a chook shed or a cubby house.

Step Two: We must come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore our sanity. I think that’s an easy one for Australia to get onto. To help with this I will be releasing hourly photos of Myself to inspire the Nation.

Step Three: We as a Nation must turn our will and our lives over to God. In order to do that I will be allocating 16 billion dollars in the budget to Hillsong so that they can build a Church on every street corner.

Step Four: We need to take a personal inventory of ourselves. This step is hard especially when it comes to figuring out how much water the country has left after Barnaby’s mob flogged off all of the rights.

Step Five: We need to admit to ourselves and to other human beings the exact nature of our wrongs. This is something everyone else in Australia needs to do. Particularly the Labor party. Not me though, whenever someone thinks I have done wrong I simply reject the premise of their accusation.

Step Six: We’re ready to let God remove all these defects of character. We’ve seen this already with the way he removed Michael McCormack……fingers crossed that Dutton is next.

Step Seven: Humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. Again, this doesn’t apply to Myself as I’m not that short.

Step Eight To Twelve: A lot to do here but we don’t need too much detail. They say the Devil’s in the detail so best to stay away from that.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m booked in to do a Zoom call to Engadine Maccas. Need to make sure that my phone has good coverage in the Kirribilli toilets.

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Categories: Opinion

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